Dulu, saya nak jadi doktor.

Yerp..dulu, saya nak jadi doktor. Bukan sebab the three most wanted job as a kid (police-doctor-lawyer) tapi sebab mmg aku NAK jadi doktor and all my close family know about this one dream of mine.

Sebab?

Pertama kali hati aku terdetik nak jadi doktor bila pertama kali aku tengok mama disorong keluar dari dewan bedah. Tak sedar. Masa tu aku baru darjah 5. Yerp. Mama sakit Kanser. Breast. But now she's all good and healthy, Praise to Allah! Alhamdulillah!

Itu, kali pertama aku nak jadi doktor. Then bila tengok mama muntah, lembik setiap kali balik chemo. Pertama kali berjauhan for one month bila mama terpaksa stay kat HKL for her radiotherapy and sambung her remaining chemo. Bila mama balik after that one month, botak, no hair. and we anak-anak take around few hours to get to know that it was her. there she was. Mama. It broke her heart that kami anak-anak tak kenal dia masa tu. Yerps,, those moment yang buat kan a 12-years-old fateen jadi tekad nak jadi doktor.

"nak invent chemo yang tak buat orang muntah"
"nak buat ubat yang tak buat orang botak"
"nak cari treatment yang mak-ayah tak yah tinggal anak-anak lama lama"

Then i start to study real hard. lepas mama, woh (my most beloved aunty) pulak masuk hospital. fibroid. and that minor surgeries almost took her life away sebab kecuaian pihak hospital. That was when I'm in form 3. Maka aku tambah lagi tekad "Aku kene belajar betul2 untuk PMR sebab nak masuk aliran sains" A first step nak capai cita2 nak jadi doktor. Magically, I got in.

Then masa form 5, papa collapse from a heart attack. I vividly remember that scene. Ema was sick and daddy was running here and there bawak dia pergi hospital and everything. And then bila semua dah setel, he came back, depan rumah, terduduk, cakap sakit dada. And the hospital-routine starts over again. CCU hospital Pekan, then the doctor said kene transfer sana sini. Sampai dapat appointment dekat IJN, and he get his treatment.

All things that happen buat aku makin yakin dan tekad nak amek aliran kedoktoran. I was accepted to Kolej Matrik Johor--Aliran Sains. dan cita cita makin jelas depan mata. I got to know this one lady, Ain. and yes we both aimed nak jadi doktor. But then again, indeed Allah is the best planner. Ain dapat sambung untuk medic dekat UPM but me tak dapat. I got an offer from Mensoura but mama cakap no and memang dari sekolah menengah lagi apa apa yang aku buat, aku ingatkan pada diri sendiri, kalau mama cakap tidak, means -- tidak. UPU result keluar and i got a place in UMS tp in Computer Science. Waaayy deviated from what I've been aiming for years. Tapi aku terima with the thought that "This what ALLAH had planned for me, maybe there is something better waiting for me ahead"

..and today, as I walked through the end of my Master journey, I'm proud to say that I'm now, an IT people. 'Doktor' komputer. and yes, macam mama selalu pesan, ALLAH tak bagi apa yang kita nak, sebab dia nak bg yang lebih baik pada masa akan datang. I see it now.

And untuk my bestfriend dearly , Ain Nabila Zaim, (currently a medical doctor in HSA), tahniah sebab awak sekarang dah capai cita-cita yang kita sama-sama idamkan dulu. Tahniah sebab sekarang awk dah jadi orang yang menyumbang kepada mereka yang memerlukan. Despite of having to share you with the public now, awak tetap private doctor kite sampai bila-bila. hehe. :)