Monday, September 24, 2012

Wahai bakal pemilik hati.

Selalu terdetik dalam benak saya.
Dimana awak sekarang, apa yang awak buat sekarang.
Pernah saya rasakan bahawa takdir tidak adil.
Kerana masih belum membawa kita kepada satu titik pertemuan.
Saya masih mencari, dan berharap awak akan datang tanpa perlu saya terlalu mencari.
Dugaan dunia sekarang, kadang rasa tak tertanggung.
Kadang terlalu besar dan berat.
Pada saat-saat itu saya begitu mendambakan kehadiran awak.
Sy tau dgn ada awak, sy mungkin lebih kuat untuk harungi semua.
Saya tau saya mesti akan lebih tabah.
Tapi cepat saya kembali pada janji ALLAH.

"Tidak ada ujian yang terlampau berat untuk hamba-NYA. dan apa yang diturunkan itu adalah bersesuaian dgn kudrat hamba-NYA"

Maka saya kembali berpijak pada bumi.
Awak kene tahu, bakal pelengkap rusuk kiri awak ni.
Sepertimana awak, masih terus berusaha melengkapi diri.
Dengan ilmu ukhrawi.
Masih belum layak saya menginginkan kehadiran awak jika diri saya belum sempurna.
Masih belum layak saya menyayangi awak sekiranya belum sempurna cinta sy pada Pencipta.
Saya mungkin tidak sempurna. 
Ada cela sana sini. Ada kurang sana sini
Maka saya harap hadirnya awak satu hari nanti.
Bakal melengkapi apa yang kurang pada saya.
Akan menutup seterusnya melindungi cela saya. 
Saya harap, saya pohon, saya tanpa lelah berdoa.
Agar pada masa kita ditemukan nanti,
Kita sudah saling bersedia. :)

Monday, September 17, 2012


Being there, I learn the true meaning of friendship. I'm not really good in expressing myself face-to-face. So everything, I write it down here in my blog. Hye guys, I don't know how many of you would be able to read this. I just wanna thank you for always being there when I'm in need. Supporting each other like siblings. Those moment we had spend together, were one of the most precious moment in my life. Those I intends to kept as on of the sweetest moment in my life.

The very first time when I arrived there, all alone by myself. No family to supports me and everything was new. The environment, the peoples. From there, during the orientation week, I'm able to get to know those friends. Some were still are up until now. One of the person that I love the most. Kak Neesa. She take care of me right a real sister does. Oh ye kak! Congratulation for your engagement!

Then, slowly my friendship circles enlarged. Getting to know each and everyone of you was a very precious gift. :) Ziqa, Amie,Marta, Annette, Mag2, Ceng, Wa, K. Imel, K. Kas, K. Ijan, Ann. Erghh. I lost count. :')

Monday, September 10, 2012

Happy Birthday cousin!

Well, 10th September 2012. Although it was a lil bit late to start with my September post. But today was somehow a special day. Heheh.

Last 22 years on this date, my aunty (my mummy's elder sister) had gave birth to this little baby, (my cousin) Hehehehe.. Who knows, we grow up to be this close up until now! :)

We have walk through so many things.
We have encounter so many obstacles.
And today, together we're going to enter a new phase of our life. 
I'm gonna thanks Ateh for giving birth to a special cousin for me.

Well darlings, I'm wishing you bless birthday!

I've now found the strength.

I've been surprised with something big last two days.
Something big, doesn't mean something good.
Yes, I'm stunted.
It was 10.30 pm while I received that text. I'm shocked.
Watching my favorite sequels on screen was like watching the tv show I hate the most.
I can't feel my leg touching the ground. I feel nothing. Completely zero feeling.
And the first thing coming outtaf my mouth was.

"Why was this happening to me? Ya ALLAH, how many test more that you going to put me through?"

I know, I should't react like that, but that was the first thing that cross my mind.
I reply the text, my hand shaking vigorously, my heard stumping hard, and my mind went blur.
I didn't ask for further explanation. I don't want to.
I just made everything clear, because what she's sending me was somehow blur.
I was saying I won't run into her and she won't hear anything about me anymore. Never.
I call my friend, I text all of them and unexpectedly, I receive thousands of reply.
Then I realized, you're not even worth it for me to fight for.

My lovely cousin was there, comforting me.
Yes I do broke into tears,
But let's take the tears as a signal of me regretting my self knowing you.
I'm forced to face 'lost' a few times before and yo're the one who I turned to.
But now I realized that you're no different than the others!
And the most important thing was I realized there's many others who loved me and treat me well.
They deserve me and I want to be with them for whatever it takes.
After all those calls and text, before I dozed off.
I kept reminiscing, and I kept thinking on how I'm gonna let mummy know about this.

Well, it's not that hard. As I tell mummy, she went all relieved and saying that she likes it that I'm no longer your friend.
Or should I say you're no longer mine.
There's a wide gap between us and not only that, our thinking were so widely different too.
And yes, mummy thanked me for not being friend with you anymore.
I'm not saying that my mummy teach me to make enemy.
Hey! You're the one who set off everything, so I guess KAU YANG SUKA BERMUSUHLAH KAN?
Well, mummy never restrict me to befriend with whoever I want to.
But there's sometimes she said she doesn't like me befriend with certain people.
Well you can say, mummy know us best.
But I didn't hear her advice. But well, mummy does happy knowing that I'm no longer your friend. :)
Well, there are 9.9737 billion people on earth, you can't expect me to befriend with everyone right?

And hey! The fact that there is 9.9737 billion people on earth.
One you wouldn't hurt me.
And now, I'm glad that we're already walking on our own path.
Which diverts quite huge I can say. :)